Building Bhakashal - Consent, Session Zero and Gaming

Session 0 and consent forms are doing the rounds on Twitter today, so I thought I would share my process. I run a D&D business, and my clientele is primarily kids, ages 10-14. This makes it a bit more difficult, as I have to give the kids a voice but also respect the parents, so both are a part of my process. 

I have a sheet I send to all the parents before their child starts gaming with me. It isn’t a questionnaire as much as a statement of what kind of game I run, with a few quick questions at the end. I send this to them before their child shows up to play. Here are the points from the document, I’ll go over each briefly to explain my reasoning for each.

1. Realism – There are many things that exist in the real world that we don’t focus on in the game, racial and sexual violence, slavery and torture, though “real”, are not a part of this game. Also, game races are not stand-ins for real world races, they are wholly fictional.

I run games for kids, there is no place for sexual violence, slavery, torture, racial violence in my  game. It’s not that kids don’t already know about these things, some have experienced them personally, but we aren’t bringing that into the game. I’m not a psychologist, and I have no particular skill at navigating people through personal trauma. Games for kids can be an escape. 

I also feel it is important to stress that in game races like lizardfolk and bird-men are not stand ins for any real world group. I actually don’t call them “races” in the game, I call them “playable groups”, but the terminology for the handout needs to be a bit less cryptic. It’s important to be clear about this.

2. Representation - As much as possible the visual aids and materials used in the game are diverse and inclusive, all groups are depicted as part of the game world. For the most part players are encouraged to play characters similar to themselves to avoid any stereotyping or cultural appropriation. 

The second sentence here is important as it has been suggested that a player playing a character that is, for example, from a different race, might be seen as a form of cultural appropriation or so-called, “digital blackface”. I personally don’t believe this, unless the player is playing some sort of exaggerated cultural stereotype, I think “walking in other’s shoes” is a positive, empathy building and mind expanding process. Having said that, I don’t want my 10-14 year old players getting accused of cultural appropriation because they saw a cool picture of a knight that wasn’t the same color as them and thought “I want to be that hero”. So it is best for all involved that they don’t pursue this sort of option at the table. 

3. Bullying and Harassment – Player versus player gaming, racial slurs or other hurtful comments, using characters as proxies to attack or humiliate other players, bullying other players at the table, etc.  all will not be tolerated.

You can certainly run PVP D&D perfectly safely, but I find, particularly for kids, it is best to just avoid it entirely. In your home game, or with consenting adults, it’s a different story, but with kids at the table it’s just bad news. It is also very important to call this out when it does happen, when you sense it’s getting personal, you shut it down and open up a discussion, or end the game for the day and have private conversations later. 

4. Religion - The game world is polytheistic, and most PCs and NPCs will worship either entire pantheons or individual gods. If there are concerns about characters worshipping a god or gods from the game setting players may opt out of this aspect of their character. Religious organizations in the game are not proxies for real world religions.

I live in one of the most multicultural cities in the world, and there are a wide range of different attitudes towards religion. So I ask up front if anyone has a concern with the use of gods in the campaign world.

5. Death - PC’s will die in the game, it is deadly and meant to be so. Play should be calibrated accordingly. There are in-game magical resources for bringing characters back, but they are expensive and time consuming, so all players are encouraged to run more than one PC, use henchmen or have a “back up character” pre-rolled and ready to go in the event their PC dies. 

I prefer to run a game where death is on the table, so this is an important point to address right at the beginning of play. In 3 years of games I’ve only ever had one player want to have their PC brought back, most were eager to try something new. But either way it’s good to be on the same page.

6. Failure - PC’s will sometimes fail in their task, the gold will be lost, the monster undefeated, the bandits will get away. The referee will not “roll back” results at the table, and importantly, once the dice are rolled the result is final. There are no ‘re-rolls’ or ‘take backs’ at the table. The referee will do everything they can to ensure that the players know the stakes before they roll, but once they do, that’s that. 

This is extremely important, as many new gamers arrive at the table expecting the ref to ensure that they are successful in some way. That is not the kind of game being run here, instead, players stand or fall on their decisions and luck (good or bad). This approach, IMO, is absolutely crucial in open ended games like D&D where the ref has a lot of latitude. The players need to know what the boundaries are, and that the ref is not going to “save” them. Otherwise they can be rightfully upset when they fail.

7. Balance - AD+D is not “balanced”, players will periodically encounter opponents and situations far beyond their capacity, sometimes they will need to flee or pursue non-combat options, not every situation requires a fight.

This is important as I play with kids, and 10-14 year old kids are ready to kill anything that gets in their way. They are also in many cases conditioned by video games to expect to be able to beat every scenario. AD&D isn’t like that, sometimes you are out of your depth. It’s important to be clear about this from the start.

8. Non-Combat Mechanics - AD+D has various non-combat mechanics like alignment, loyalty, morale and encounter reaction rolls, mechanics that can determine in a general way how NPCs or monsters will react to PC actions. As it is possible for an NPC or monster to react positively, combat is not the only option. Parley, negotiation, bluffing and deception are all options outside of combat

Again, the default for many people when confronted with a raging giant or a fire breathing dragon is to slay, slay, slay, but they need, in all fairness, to be aware that the game mechanically supports other options. 

9. Experience - The experience point system in D&D gives the greatest rewards for loot (treasure and magic items) and the least rewards for slaying monsters. This leaves the players open to pursuing non-violent, non-combat options and still advance in the game.

Just in case they didn’t get the first two memos, here’s the third. The system for advancement in the game is geared to reward non-combat options. This is important as kids want to know what the game rewards, and what they can do to maximize their progress in the game (if that’s their thing). If you don’t want a murderhobo game, and I certainly don’t want one in this context, you need to be clear about the details.

10. Style of play - This campaign is sandbox in style, which means that the referee presents a complex game world with many factions and groups, and that game world reacts to the actions of the players. This means players must forge their own destiny and take responsibility for their choices. 

This is an important one, colloquially known as “F*ck around and find out”, the players need to know that actions have in-game consequences. If you go around stealing, looting and slaying everyone then you will encounter resistance. This isn’t a story where you always win and are always right, it’s a world to explore that has consequences for your actions.

11. Teamwork - D+D is a collaborative game, if you cooperate with your fellow players you will be far more successful. This does not mean, however, that every character will have a chance to “shine” in every encounter. D&D is a marathon, not a sprint, the success of individual party members is shared by all. The experience point system in the game reflects this, as all adventure XP are divided equally amongst all participating characters.

Class based systems like D&D are built for collaborative play, as skills and abilities are split between classes. Also, the XP system divides XP amongst all players, so there is no incentive to “hog” XP from the adventure. Of course parties will not get along all the time, but teamwork of some degree is the goal, and I like to make sure they are aware of this from the start.

12. Peripherals - You do not need anything to play D&D other than your imagination, the referee will provide the players with character sheets, dice, and any visual aids, handouts, etc. There is no need to purchase anything to play the game. 

I have had kids show up to the game with a mountain of merchandise, not only does this create an undue financial burden, but it can make other players feel uncomfortable and sets unrealistic expectations. D&D should be playable with nothing but the player’s imagination. If they want to buy stuff that’s between their parents and them, I want to make it clear it isn’t needed to have fun.

13. Topics Off the Table - If there are any topics you would prefer to not be a part of game play that aren’t addressed above please let us know before we start playing. AD&D is a modular game, there is very little that can’t be tweaked or reorganized to ensure that everyone has a fun and inclusive experience.

I can’t know what people will or won’t like beyond the obvious stuff mentioned above, so I leave it open for participants to identify their concerns. I would never use a “consent checklist” on its own, as without context and a good understanding of what sort of game the referee is running a checklist is insufficient, for two main reasons: 

1. They can be anxiety producing with long lists of phobias and triggers

2. They create a false sense of security

Rather than give a checklist, I instead tell the players what the game will be like in a broad sense, and then ask them to indicate if there are any topics or issues they would rather not have in the game. I think this is important as it calls on the referee to articulate the kind of game they are running, which I think is more helpful than simply asking the players to define the kind of game they don’t want to play. I also ensure that this handout is sent before we get together in person, so no player has to articulate a phobia or trigger in front of others.

14. Topics at the Table - If you are confused about or uncomfortable with any aspect of the game during play you may ask questions or request a break to discuss what is happening at the table. For the most part these concerns are discussed amongst the group, D&D is about problem solving in the game world and the real world. However, if you would prefer anonymity you are welcome to ask questions outside the session, or call for a break and speak with the referee separately. All questions are welcomed, we are all in this together!

No rule or set of rules will ever be enough to capture what happens at the table, and people are often uncomfortable voicing their concerns, so I make it clear up front that interrupting the game with questions or concerns is ALWAYS acceptable.

I also think you need to walk the walk in game on this. There is frequently a pressure to get stuff done and make progress, to “move the story forward” and all that. But players, frequently new players, need information to make good decisions, they don’t know the game or the game world as well as you do. So that means stopping and taking questions, and paying attention to body language, speech patterns, etc. 

Refereeing is much like teaching, you “read” your audience to see how they are taking things, and things can come up at the table that are not covered in your session 0 document or the rules of the game. So players need to know they can ask and voice concerns, and you need to SHOW THEM that you are willing, even eager, to answer these questions and address these concerns.

Rules, documents and procedures on their own mean nothing, so you have to commit to listening and then carry it out at the table. Once they sense you are OK with questions, you will get a lot of them! But that’s a good thing, as it will grow your game and improve your refereeing skills. 

Everyone wants, and deserves, to be heard at the table. 

15. Accessibility Concerns - if a player has any accessibility issues please let the referee know as soon as possible. Various aids are available for those who have concerns about readability of text, verbal delivery of information, physical access to gaming venues, remote access technology or using dice, character sheets, etc. 

Never assume anything about player accessibility, because you don’t know. Some players have visual issues, many have auditory issues, some may be non-neurotypical and need information to be presented in a particular way, others may have IT issues that limit their ability to play without some preparation and planning. Identifying these ahead of time is key.

I have been using a version of this A-O list for 3 years now and it has saved me considerable time and stress, and made it much easier for people to identify if the game I am offering is of interest to them. Obviously it is tailored to my game, e.g. an after school program for 10-14 year old kids, but there are likely elements that would work for other games as well.